Example of a first message to send on a dating site

To help inspire your own messages and to give you a place to start, we put together a few online dating first message examples you can pick and choose from. Ranging from a simple hello or an interesting question, to funny and flirty messages that help you stand out; there are over online dating first message examples to help you get the conversation started. Megan Murray is the Editor-in-Chief of The Date Mix and works at the online dating site and app Zoosk, that has over 40 million members worldwide. She splits her time between writing for The Date Mix and working on the Zoosk product, which gives her behind-the-scenes knowledge about the world of online dating.

First Message Strategy #2: Connect On Common Ground

Elevate your love life with practical dating advice delivered right to your inbox. The whole idea behind writing a dating profile is to help the man or woman who visits your profile to know how he or she can connect emotionally with you, or what adjustments he has to make so that he can get along with you. And since we date so that we can have fun, write about what you love to do outdoors, and experiences you have gathered over the years as you interact with people. It will make people see that you can add value to their lives and they will be willing to connect with you after reading your profile.

Use positive tones when you are writing the profile. It will give the people who visit your profile the impression that you are easy to get along with, and that you are very sociable. That can enhance your chances of attracting many members of the opposite sex. It gives me a lot of headache, but I will not allow that subject to conquer me! If you are the kind of guy who treats women with respect, then congratulations! You are my kind of guy and I would like u to connect so that we can build a friendship!

To show that you are an adventurous guy or woman who can entertain the potential date, write about some fun things you have done with some of your friends. Show this instead of just telling it. It will make your profile look more interesting to read. Read a lot more great profile tips on this page. Your first message to her should contain a comment on something you have in common or something you find exciting about her.

Take your time until you see something you really like about her and mention it. Also keep in mind that bad grammar, spelling mistakes and poor language are huge turnoffs. Moreover, well-written text messages make you look definitely more mature and intelligent. Here is a graphic source , showing how those factors influence the response rate:.

For instance, if someone says they like to read, you ask them what they are reading now or what the last book the read was that they really liked. If the person you are writing to says they like to travel, ask them where they would like to go next or share your recent memorable travel experience briefly. A great message also includes a question or two that you are asking to make it easier for the other person to continue the conversation by responding to your questions instead of thinking about how to write you back.

For instance, if a woman says she likes to cook, ask her what her favorite dishes to cook are. If the guy says that he likes to hike, as him what his most memorable hiking route has been so far. Consider not typing a message on your smartphone but instead wait to get to a computer and a full size keyboard, so that you are less likely to send messages that are too short and with too many typos. Like in most other things, quality is way more important than the quantity of what you write. The first message is key! It all starts with getting her to respond to your first message.

Once you do, you can easily convert this opportunity into a date. Breaking the ice is hard anytime but when you are only dating, it can feel impossible. Ranging from a simple hello or an interesting question, to funny and flirty messages that help you stand out. Here are few examples of opening messages you can write. Thanks for sharing this article.

Well I honestly have tried all these but did not work for some. There are a few men whom I really want to get in touch with but they're the ones who don't seem to respond. It is frustrating and funny at the same time. When telling them "I like scuba diving too! What other activities interests you? What parts of the world have you tried diving?

I have a profile that tells all about me and what i want including my interest but I dont know. There must be something wrong with me. Ask New Question Sign In. Quora uses cookies to improve your experience.

Single Steve / How to Write the Perfect First Message - Single Steve

What is a good opening message to write when communicating on an online dating site? Quora User , Charmistry. What are the best things to write in an online dating first contact email? Online dating is funny. Back when I was a precocious, introverted youth who completely lacked charm, I tried online dating. I totally struck out, which wasn't particularly surprising at the time.

Fast forward a couple years. By this point in my life I had come out of my shell, all that, so I decided to try online dating again. And, yet again, I struck out. But this time it didn't make any sense. I mean, I knew what I was doing So I resolved to crack the code of online dating. I began doing this the only way I knew how: Over the course of a couple years I, along with a team of friends, split tested multiple profiles, in multiple cities, on various sites, and gauged the opposite sex's responses to different messages, as well as what sequences of messages led to the best response.

What follows are some of the things I learned during that time about sending effective online dating messages: Have a compelling avatar image. On most dating sites, your profile photo will show up shrunken next to the message. Make this image appealing. Just like you would on Twitter or Quora, pick an avatar image that's iconic and sparks curiosity. A good image should make them want to click on the message because they're curious. Thank you for your feedback! Writing on Quora just got easier for Chrome users with Grammarly.

Grammarly's writing app makes sure everything you type is easy to read, effective, and mistake-free. Learn More at grammarly. You dismissed this ad. The feedback you provide will help us show you more relevant content in the future. What are some good online dating messages which are likely to get a response? Is Baddoo a good dating site? What is a good online dating profile? What is the best dating site? I love wedding season. Are you a gamer? What do you play? Is that Fat Tire? What do you study? What kind of stuff do you like to read? Do you like it? You think guys can pull off yoga poses too?

The possibilities are endless.

Make sure to ask a clear question The best openers end with a clear question that gets her talking about something specific. Dig for common ground As your conversation goes back-and-forth, keep in mind: After some back and forth, suggest meeting up This does not need to be complicated. Updated Oct 8, Use Proper Spelling and Grammar 3. Convey the Right Tone 5. Pick the Right Greeting 6.

Personalize Your Message 7. Invite a Response Example: Answered Jun 27, An opening message on a dating site should be short and sweet, a little bit about you, a little bit about her why you're messaging her , include an invitation to a low key date, e. Not so short that you seem like a bot or an idiot, but no one wants to read a novel.

A reasonable target is two paragraphs with sentences each. Ask the person out right away. The best way to get to know a person is by actually knowing them This shows that you paid attention to them, that this person specifically stood out to you, and that you two have something to talk about. Don't compliment her physically. Don't use pet names baby, doll, etc. Don't go out of your way to include something funny in the message; it'll likely come off as creepy or out of place, or just not you. I was dreadful at messaging when I first started. Written in proper English, not text speak.

Made it obvious I'd read their profile. Then just invited them to chat. This was written to a very attractive woman who'd described herself as 'fun loving' and liked 'cooking', 'knitting' and 'scrabble'. Not much to go on, you might think. Do you ever do anything a bit more lively? Actually I do like Scrabble occasionally.

Knitting is totally off the bottom of my fun-ometer though Actually that would probably lead to setting the knitting on fire and burning the house down, and I wouldn't want to be responsible for that, so I guess I'll just have to get the old needles out and start practicing. In twenty years time when we're sitting by the fire with our knitting you'll be glad we did! Bye for now, Graeme: Occasionally I did get a 'how dare you speak to me like' that response. But really, someone who couldn't see the joke was unlikely to work out with me anyway.

Let me give you a run down of what has and has not worked for me in the past along with what I have heard from other men. On OK Cupid I have a high response rate from the "replies very selectively" type. I am not saying this to impress you, but to impress upon you that I have a working knowledge. I also spoke to many of my female friends about what works for them. The most important thing I can tell you is to not take too much advice.

I say this because you should always be true to yourself and not worry about impressing other people. It is better to wait and find the right fit than to cater your style to please everyone. Take advice into consideration but go with your intuition and do what you think is right for you. For example, if you have an annoying sense of humor and that is how you message people, do not change it.

Eventually you will find someone who absolutely adores this. I met a totally hot half-chinese girl who was very smart, passionate ; outgoing, caring, etc etc but had an annoying sarcastic sense of humor. Should she have changed how she messaged me? I obviously lost interest in her but I am sure that she will make someone else totally happy. As someone who has been a bit too successful at dating numbers wise I can tell you that it gets annoying after a while and you realize that you have compromised yourself just to be "successful" at dating.

First Message Online Dating Formula That Works (With Examples)

The ironic thing is that I had the most success quality wise when I did not care, and just focused on being the best person I could be and enjoying my life. My ex-wife pointed out that my lack of care to what other people thought of me is what attracted her to me my ex-wife would be considered in the upper echlons of looks, btw. Ok so on to the "answers". But first let me tell you about factors that are not commonly understood: Their past experiences- you may be awesome or a total loser, have either a great message or bad one, but if there is something about you that they either like or do not like at the first impression.

This can be affected by your profile pic, subject line, or keywords in your message. I had several women direct message me just because they liked the fact that I was vegetarian. Looks- I have wrote very thought out messages to the women I was interested in and they just respond with,"Hey handsome. In other words if you are at the end of either spectrum of looks, your content will not matter much.

Time of day- If you write at 2AM on Tuesday they will likely think you are unemployed. If you write them at 9PM on Friday, they will think you are some loser sitting at home. If you write what appears to be a copy-and-paste at 8PM on Wednesday asking for date on Friday, they will think that you are a player, if you do it at Actual times are estimations. Polite introduction- many times women especially the hot ones will have lame ass profiles with little content. This presents a problem because you have little jump off point.

4 Steps to The Perfect Online Dating Message

This is why they normally get the "cookie cutter messages". Here I just send them a polite message along the lines of "Hello name if you know it , my name is if you otherwise only have a profile name, as is the case with OK Cupid writing you because it would be nice to chat more. Have you been there? Mentioning looks- Even as a guy this annoys the shit out of me. Looks are mostly genetic and people usuallly want to be acknowledged for something that they accomplished.

So here are some dumb ones "Hey hottie", "hey sexy", "hey you are hot, message me", "what is someone as hot as you doing on this site basically saying the person writing is a loser " While on a date, girls tend to tell me how they liked that I actually had something to say because "most guys just mention looks".


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Then at that point I am already bored with them because I am not there to be there fucking therapist. Mentioning sex- should be obvious Making the conversation about you and too one way 4. Not having a call to action- saying something but not ending it openended might get their attention but they may hesitate to respond because they do not know how to respond. Talking about your exes or other dates Here is a graphic source , showing how those factors influence the response rate: As a ghost writer for several people who use online services, but who don't know what to say - I guarantee you success if you actually read the person's profile and comment in a positive curious way and ask questions about them and not talk about yourself.

If they like museums and you've never been to one, don't bluff. Say, "The closest thing to a museum I've ever been to is my grandfather's garage, but it sounds interesting. What is your favorite museum? What do you like about museums? By mentioning a specific item in their bio you're showing them you actually read the bio and aren't just cutting and pasting an answer to them and 50 other people. Mention the details of something in their photo. If they're posing with their poodle, say, "Hey!

I have a poodle too! If you do " Or, "That party you were at in the last photo looks like it was a great scene. What was the occasion? If they have a team jersey on - ask them if they're a fan of the team or if they just like baggy shirts. Open your letter with what caught your eye about their photo or bio. So I started reading your bio and I see you like mountain biking and x-treme sports.

What kind of trails do you like? Have you been doing marathon rides long? Their bios should be full of clues about what they're passionate about.

If you have a sense of humor, use it, but tread lightly. Don't launch into your life history. See if they're interested. End with an open-ended question that will allow them to continue the conversation if they want to. Something like, "I just started using eharmony, or match. We all want to be special - not feel like someone's trolling for a date.

Pretend you're meeting someone at a conference, church, a ball-game and make friendly chit-chat.

First Message Strategy #1: Go For Laughs

Be honest, be positive, be curious about them. If you come across as real your chances of actually getting a phone number or date go way up. There is no single message that I would recommend using as a first message. The most I would recommend is a sort of template. A compliment that was the impetus for messaging her. A question The compliment demonstrates that you read her profile, that you're interested in her, and that you are interested in her because of her personality, not just because of her photos.

The question gives her an easy and obvious way to respond so she doesn't NOT respond just because she doesn't know how to. Unfortunately my okcupid profile's been long since deleted so I can't give you any examples.