Dating someone 30 years older
But I believe there are some who are supportive, right? Well, like the person above commented, I don't like a lot of PDA, because you can get some nasty looks. I have been out on dates with him, and people are like, "Oh, is this your daughter? That happened a lot more when I was in my young 20s. Now that I'm older, the daughter comments arent as frequent. When someone says something about it, I usually just calmly answer back that I'm happy, and it's none of their business.
It definitely helps that I'm not using him for money, and he isn't using me for sex lol. In my experience, there is a lot more negative judgment on me than him. Most people think he's some wealthy, successful, great lover who is "lucky" to have a younger woman. I'm the gold-digging slut who broke up his marriage and is using him for money lol. I just keep my head down and do what makes me happy. I'm not breaking any laws or really doing anything wrong, so I try not to feel bad about it.
Overall, I have a few friends who are supportive of it. My parents have just learned to live with it. My parents and siblings still say mean things to me about it, but again, I can't live my life for them. If you spend the rest of your lives together, what are you going to do when he passes away and you're left alone for potentially 30 years or more?
I hope that I would be able to find someone else to be with. Or just have an enjoyable life by myself. To me I hope to find someone for life. In the event that me or my SO past away early then I'd want them to find someone else, but if we both grow old at the age of 80s or 90s I wouldn't care to find someone else. One of my happiest relationships was with a guy twenty years older than me.
Good on you for not hiding it, being open. We couldn't do that, we hid and when you hide, separation is inevitable. I recognize that this seems like kind of a trivial issue but it made having a public relationship kind of difficult, when neither of you are able to say 'who gives a shit what other people think'. We have plans to go on a second date and before I go any further down this road, I wanted to see what I was getting myself into. I was mostly raised by my grandmother and the majority of my favorite music stems from the exposure from my aunts and uncles. I like the maturity and stability of an older man, yet, I have my own goals that I want to achieve, which right now includes travelling.
On our first date, we just talked for hours about everything. If it really does go somewhere, there is the possibility of me being a widow. Ive been on the other side of this. Being the older man. I've dated women in their 20's. I don't look my age. Obviously I'm older than them but I look like late 30's so it isn't as obvious. One relationship in particular got pretty serious. She would want to cuddle in public and kiss all the time. I didn't mind being affectionate with a beautiful young woman but you could see it made other people uncomfortable.
They would think we were father and daughter or something and then she'd plant a big sexy kiss on me and you could see peoples jaw drop. That made me somewhat uncomfortable and I expressed that to her. She took it wrong and that was the beginning of the end. I don't intentionally seek out women that much younger than me but because of where I live it is common to meet them. I'm a talkative person and strike up a conversation. It starts out like any conversation finding out about the person and their interests. Because I own my own home, have a career and things like that that most guys in their age group don't have they appreciate the stability.
I don't intend to marry anyone that much younger but at the same time life is a journey and we don't know where it will take us. If you love this person that is what is most important. My philosophy in life is "The most important thing in life is the people that love you and the people you love.
Everything else is just BS". Why do you not want to marry someone younger than you? What motivates you to date younger women if you dont see a future with them? Nothing "motivates" me to date younger women. They are just more friendly and open to conversation. Women my age are They don't like to strike up conversations.
They always seem in a hurry or don't want to be bothered with. Younger women are easier to talk with and more engaging. As an example, a few weeks ago I was in a pizza parlor around the corner from my house. There was a very attractive woman in her 40's I'd guess reading a book.
He's not my father, he's my husband
When they called our numbers to pick up our food I offered to get hers as well. I said "oh, that's your number? I'm going up I'll pick you're up too if you'd like". She said "no thank you". A younger woman would most likely said "cool, thanks"! She got her food and sat down and went right back into her book. No rings on either. So I asked about the book. She gave me a curt answer there too so I quit while I was ahead. Do you ever worry that he's interested in you because of your lack of experience?
In the beginning, when I had everyone telling me he was just using me because I was naive, I did have my guard up about it. We didn't sleep together for a long time, because I wanted to prove to myself and everyone else that it wasn't just about sex.
But now, I'm pretty much his equal in a lot of things. I have my own money, my own property, and I don't depend on him for financial stability. I think my lack of experience is sort of charming to him. I know asking his advice makes him feel good, kind of like the white knight effect. I think I'm more mature for my age to begin with.
I'm not really the free, party girl, dying to go out on friday night and dance the night away lol. I think if that had been me, this relationship would not have worked. Most of the time, our age difference isn't dwelled on that much. We are just who we are, being together in a relationship. While I find many 18 year old females very sexy and wouldn't hesitate to be physical if the possibility was there, I couldn't imagine getting in to a serious relationship with a woman younger than Even a 30 year old woman would have no knowledge of the things I am interested in music wise, film wise, etc.
How do you relate to this man on a social level? Does he have any knowledge at all about your world in terms of music, lifestyle, etc? And you do realize that this will not end well, right? He is quickly becoming and old man and you are just approaching your prime years as a woman I wonder if you might not be surprised by the right person. I'm 33; I grew up listening to the music my parents liked, reading the books my father had around the house, et cetera.
I got interested in different things as a teenager, but it's not like I stopped enjoying the things my parents enjoyed when I was older. In fact, I am interested in music and books and film from well before their time. Plus, I have a half-sister your age, and she introduced me to a lot of things which I wouldn't have been aware of without her to bridge the gap between our parents' generation and mine. Not that I think you should date anyone younger if you don't want to, but I don't think a year age gap, for you to date a woman in her mid-to-late twenties, would be insurmountable.
It sounds like you would just need someone with broad interests that extend beyond whatever's typical for her age bracket. My husband and I are only 3 years apart, but we have nothing in common socially. We don't like the same music, we have some overlap in film tastes but very far from exactly the same taste, we befriend very different people, and we grew up in different countries, so our youth references are totally different regardless of being close in age.
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My ex-boyfriend and I could not have been more alike in taste down to our favorite ice cream was Gold Medal Ribbon from Baskin Robbins, which is pretty damn specific and random and grew up 15 minutes from each other and were exactly the same age, but that relationship didn't work out. Being different can be more interesting. My husband isn't constantly restating my own opinions back to me, and he's not telling me things about stuff I already love, so I already know everything about them. I've learned a lot about his hobbies from him, stuff I never gave one thought to before, and even if they would never be my hobbies, they are more interesting the more that I learn, and I love seeing him get so excited when talks about them.
Yes, it's hard finding a place to go dancing together because the same music doesn't make us both want to dance, and I wish he didn't hate Indian food. But how minor is that in the grand scheme of things? I also think being very different people with different groups of friends makes us stay more interesting people.
We haven't become an inextricable unit. When I go out with my friends, I don't bring my husband. He'd come if I really wanted him to, but he'd be a little bored because he didn't pick those people and they and I have the same interests that are different from his, and it's just not the best fit. Plus I enjoy getting some quality time with my friends one-on-one. I do go with him sometimes to group stuff with his friends, but they also do a lot of solo stuff without me.
I have had several of my friends say I'm the only girl they know who didn't just disappear after getting into a relationship, and this is why. It's also nice being separate often because then it's more fun when you get home and had been missing each other. I also think this is why I've never fallen into that trap of believing my husband should answer every one of my social needs in addition to my romantic ones.
He doesn't like big group things? I have a male friend who is my go-to party date. My husband doesn't like Indian food? I have, like, 7 friends who'd be happy to grab some with me. My husband wouldn't get properly excited about this new exciting development in a realm he isn't interested in? I know eleventy billion other people who would, so I call them.
I've seen other couples getting in fights because he doesn't like going out with her friends or she doesn't want to spend her vacation in an area only he is interested in, and it's like it never occurs to them to do these things without the spouse. When you have a lot in common, you get so used to your spouse being your go-to person that you get annoyed when they aren't enthusiastically filling every single role. But it's just unrealistic to think one person could be your everything. And when you date someone very different from you, you never fall into that assumption or have fights about it.
Would you date someone who is 30 years OLDER?
You just keep and include more people in your life from the get-go. They were simply great together. They went on so well that, as a kid, it took me until I was ish to even realize there was a difference in age between them. Just here to tell you to disregard people's hard comments or looks. If you love the man, seize the relationship as much as you can, as you would with any other man.
Do you think that a lot of women are attracted to older men, but just don't admit it to each other or their friends? I think a lot of women are attracted to older men, but there is a stigma attached to it. People think you must be a gold digger, whore, slut, etc. I've had friends point blankly ask me if the reason I'm with him is because I was raped or molested as a child The answer is no.
I can't really speak to the motivation of people not admitting it. It just seems to me that women are pretty finely attuned to social perceptions, and for most women, they really don't want to deal with all the social problems as you say, stigma that come along with dating anyone not approved by their peer group, and older men are just one of those troubling groups that will make your life more difficult, and most are unwilling to stick it out for their own sake.
I completely agree with what ur saying. I have said many times, that if we weren't this much in love, I would have left him years ago lol. You definitely have to have tough skin and not let what people think affect you. It seems like the judgemental people who are probably just jealous women his own age that know they can't compete with her. We would see each other on the treadmills a couple of times a week.
One day I was reading a book, and he commented on it. We got to talking, and I thought he was interesting and nice. It got to be where we would both say hi and casually talk. After four months of this, he asked me out to dinner and movie. Were you surprised when he asked you out? Had you already been viewing him in a romantic light before then?
My mom had just turned 40 when she gave birth to me and my sister I'm a fraternal twin. His daughters are 27,29, and I've met them before, but we don't spend that much time with them.
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- I'm in my 20's and I'm dating a man 30 years older than me. AMA : AMA?
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Without sounding like a complete pervert, can you explain the first time you had sex? I'm guessing you hadn't seen a naked man at his age before, and kt had also been a while since he had seen a naked teen. What were his energy levels like? Does he take testosterone? It was kind of awkward the first time we were together.
I think he was kind of paranoid about acting like a "dirty old man" and i was worried about seeming like a child. I was kind of shy and didnt really want to take iniative, and he didn't want to rush me lol. Surprisingly, I didn't feel weird about being naked around him. I thought I might, but I wasn't. His body was pretty much how I imagined it being. His energy is good; he doesn't take testosterone. But I definitely have more stamina than him. So is it a thing for wise old guys or was something striking about this man? Why did you decide to do the AMA?
I decided to do the AMA because I feel that a many people don't understand this type of relationship, b many people are curious about this relationship , c this type of relationship is still a bit taboo, and d this type of relationship isn't really discussed openly. I wanted to give my perspective. Kudos to you for not letting stupid paradigm win. My husbands ain't remarried young to an older man and at the time it was great, older man more mature, stable etc Fast forward to now and she's 65 and he's 90 ish. They sleep in separate beds, numerous hospital visits, hip surgeries and now onset or dementia.
This is the highlight time of her life when she would like to travel do fun things but can't as The flip side of marrying an older man is showing. Things you don't think about when younger and the guy or woman is still active and getting around. I know it's hard to help who you love but really think about things if you decide to take things further.
Do you ever feel like you "missed out" on the college experience by being attached so early in your college years to someone who most likely had no interest in the things college kids do? I never did crazy things in college. I don't have that many drunken, bar stories to tell. But, I also didn't have to deal with unplanned pregancies, STDs, arrests, drugs, etc lol. I think it helped me do well in college, get into pharmacy school, and graduate with a good job. Not that I wouldn't have done that without him, but he wasn't a hinderance to me doing that.
Read the top few comments How would you even end up with that person, I don't even really know anyone outside of work that's 30 years older than me. I might be late commenting here. I'm currently in my first year of pharmacy school and am hoping to do either retail or compounding when I graduate. Do you like your job? I love my job, one of the best decisions I've ever made. Also, pay attention in drug information; have the battle is just knowing how to find the answers people ask you in retail lol if you have more questions , feel free to ask me more.
Are you stressed at all about paying your student loans? Assuming you had any. I know some people who feel like they're handing over all of their paychecks and others who are buying new Louboutins and Jimmy Choos every other week. Is the pay that varied or are some people just being dramatic? A lot of faculty is also pushing for everyone to do research and work internships at big companies in other states as well as in other countries. Is that something I should concern myself with, or are those opportunities more geared towards students who plan on going into residency? I'm not that worried about paying my loans, because I make a lot of money, and I don't have debt other than that.
I also don't have to support children yet. The people who get into trouble with their debt are the ones that go out and spend their entire paycheck each month. As long as you save some money and not go crazy, there's no reason you shouldn't be able to pay your loans back. Research and traveling abroad, does look good on residency applications, but they also are interesting things that make you stand out on your CV.
If you have no interest in residency, and no interest in doing research, I wouldn't do it just for the hell of it. But they will always be a nice thing to put on your CV. Also, I had several friends swear from day 1 of pharmacy school, that they weren't doing a residency. But by the second rotation of P4 year, they had changed their mind. Then you're in the position of playing catch up. I didn't do a residency, mainly because I was eager to get out and get a job; so it's not crucial you do one. But if you think there is any chance you might want to do one, I would go ahead and prepare for it.
That's just too weird. You have to know that. He was in his late 20s and you weren't even alive. Well, at least you won't have to have any kids. You'll probably be changing diapers in less than 20 yrs anyway. How old are your parents? Children of parents who are older tend to be in relationships with people who are older whereas children of parents who are younger tend to be in relationships with people who are younger. I'm on the other side of this, I'm in my mid 40's and dating a 20 year old. What advice would you give me? Be prepared for her to change a lot.
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- Would you date someone who is 30 years OLDER? - guyQ by AskMen.
The things you focus on as a 20 year old is different than what you care about as a 25 year old. When I was 18 the decision to have children wasn't even really thought about because it seemed so far off for me.
But when I got to be 24, I realized that I most likely will want children, so we both had to sit down and talk about it. If both of you are happy, and want to be together, then be together. Thanks for the feed back. We seem to get along well and I know I enjoy spending time with her, I am sure that feeling is mutual. Are you love older women? Do you want to Dating an older woman? Granted, I've only been out of school about a year.
It's competitive, but you can still find a job. Some areas of the country are more saturated than others. But I was very fortunate to find a job quickly: I date people I'm attracted to, and enjoy being with. I'm in love with him, and he is in love with me, so we are together. I also don't lose sleep about what people I don't know think about me. Have you planned to live with this man as long as possible? What do you think about that? What do you plan to do after he is dead?
I do think about this a lot. In that sense, the emotional ups and downs of our relationship are much like those of any other couple. We were both very strong, independent people with interesting things going on in our lives. When Young met my mother for the first time, less than a year earlier, he told her we were having fun but that there would be "no cottage, no marriage, and certainly no babies".
It felt as if we had come a very long way, very quickly. Our post-engagement anxiety was short-lived and seven months later, friends and family surrounded us for our wedding day. It really was the happiest day of my life. My father, who is relieved to be older than my husband, if only by six months, gave a moving speech, noting that even before I'd told him about Young he knew there was someone special in my life because every time we spoke on the phone I had "bubbles in my voice".
I was surprised on the day to realise that I had no nerves, just a calm feeling that this was absolutely the right thing. When Young began his vows, we locked eyes and the only way I got through mine without wobbling was by holding his gaze. We had only changed the chaplain's suggested wording in one way — instead of "Until death do us part" we said "For as long as we both shall live".
We were determined that our marriage should reflect our general attitude towards life, and we wanted to emphasise the positives.
He's not my father, he's my husband | Life and style | The Guardian
Our son, Tom, arrived around 18 months later and having a child has made our "live for the moment" philosophy even more pertinent. I'll say it so you don't have to — my husband is probably going to die while our son is still pretty young. Although knowing him as I do, I wouldn't put money on that. His current stance is that he would be happy if he lived to 95, which is another 33 years.
I'm holding out for Again, we knew that having a child was an enormous decision, and we talked about it endlessly, making sure that we were doing it for the right reasons and not purely selfish ones. We knew we could provide a safe, happy and loving home for a baby, but how would we work things out financially in the future, given the different stages we were at in our careers? How would our child cope if his daddy's health declined?
How would I manage if I ended up being a carer for my child and husband? What if he or she were bullied at school because dad looked like grandpa? There were many questions we couldn't answer definitively, but in the end we had to trust our instincts. There are no guarantees, whatever your age.
We know very well that couples the same age, who look like a perfect match on paper, can't always make things work when they have children. Neither Young nor I had a particularly straightforward childhood and, perhaps because of that, we are convinced that having an awesome father around, even for a short while, is vastly preferable to having an uninvolved or uncaring father around for life.
My two boys love each other so dearly and when I was struggling in the early days of motherhood, it was seeing their love for each other that helped me come to terms with our new life. Not only was Young right beside me for every 2am feed and 5am nappy change, my physical and mental recovery from a difficult birth was only made bearable by the glimpses I caught of him pacing the room with Tom, whispering his love and singing lullabies.
Tom has just turned two, and it has been an immense pleasure to watch their relationship develop. Young remains as involved as he was in the first weeks, with every aspect of our son's care. Aside from the practicalities, though, they have an incredible bond.